Ever feel this way? Like your in your own personal prison – alone, punished, tormented, and desperately longing for freedom. David, the author of Psalm 142 certainly had to feel this way. He was alone in a cave, clinging to his life – desperate for freedom.

I don’t know about your personal prison, but let me give up you peek behind the armor so you can see one of mine.

I would rather be filled with the scars of 100 wounds against me, than live with the guilt of being the one inflicted a scar on someone else. My prison bars are formed by the decisions I’ve made that left others in pain. It torments me to think of those who have been scared by the words I’ve said, or didn’t say. Guilt weighs heavy on my soul, sometimes to the point of total despair. I can live with almost anything and anyone, except the wicked man I am. I long for freedom – not from the consequences of decisions made and words said, but from the guilt that has locked the door of my soul and thrown away the key into the depths of the ocean. Not surprisingly in the times of loneliness and pain of soul, the prison cell I reside in seems to grow smaller and smaller, tighter and tighter. What is left to do? Is freedom even a possibility? Are these chains forever?

“I cry aloud to the LORD; I plead aloud to the LORD for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him; I reveal my trouble to Him. Although my spirit is weak within me, You know my way…” Psalm 142:1-3

There is no reason to pretend before the Lord. He knows all my thoughts and ways. He is not fooled by my fake countenance, or my lofty words. He is not impressed by human strength that is mere weakness disguised. So inside the prison bars I cry aloud. I plead. I pour my heart out. I am honest. I acknowledge my frailty and weakness. None of this surprises my Lord.

“I cry to You, LORD; I say, ‘You are my shelter, my portion in the land of the living.’ Listen to my cry for I am very weak.” Psalm 142:5-6

If there is any hope for me, it is not in me, so I cry to the Lord. He is the only one who can offer shelter – relief from this trouble. You are the only one who can give me new life.

“Free me from prison so that I can praise Your name.” Psalm 142:7

Don’t free me so that I may be free. Don’t free me so that I may escape the pain. Free me SO that I may praise Your name. That I may praise the name of the ONLY name worthy of praise. That I may praise the ONE who knows my way, who hears my cry, and is my shelter and portion.

“You deal generously with me.” Psalm 142:7b

When I plead for mercy, though undeserving, you offer it freely. When I cry out for grace, you send it in full without regard to my merit.

Freedom is given to me, not just from You, but because of You. The chains around my feet fall because of your great name. The prison door opens because you are rich in faithful love and mercy. I stand to walk in the light of your glorious grace not because I deserve to, but for your name’s sake.

Daily I can lay down my loosened chains and walk out of my opened cell because of the Gospel. I don’t have to live with myself, but I get to live with Christ in me, the hope of glory. I live today knowing that His grace is far greater than my sin. The key to my freedom that was lost in an ocean of guilt and shame has been found by the One who made the ocean by the word of His mouth. He has given it to me. It’s not surprising that it opens the lock of all prison doors.

I am free, and you can be too.

- Brad

What a powerful Easter weekend we witnessed at church family in the Tennessee Theatre when just under 2,000 people gathered to exalt the Name above all names and celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. There was something uniquely powerful about everyone being gathered together in one large place.  Several people gave their lives to Christ – that being the most powerful story of the weekend as the Beautiful Exchange took place in the hearts of lost men and women.

While the church gathered is powerful and Biblical for the Body of Christ, it is when the church is scattered that it becomes powerful for the community.  When the church leaves the building it gathers in and scatters to do ministry in the community that Jesus loves, the message of the Gospel spreads and impacts people in powerful ways.  If the goal is to be more like Jesus – and it is, then let’s meditate on what Jesus said in Mark 10:42-45:

“Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

The church is most powerful when the word “Christian” is a verb, not an adjective.  We are most powerful when the people of our community learn what we believe by seeing what we DO, not hearing what we SAY.

Saturday, April 21^st we are calling NorthStar Church to scatter!  We are joining with several other churches in our city to serve our city – to make a difference by doing something, not just saying something.  Will you join hands with us?  If you haven’t registered to serve through Operation Inasmuch, would you visit www.NorthStarKnox.com  today and select a project to be involved with.  Serve with your family, your LifeGroup, or as an individual. Have questions? Send Debbie Stephens, our mission team leader, an e-mail at missions@NorthStarKnox.com today. Big areas of need are: Men to help change oil for single moms and widows, and participate in the kids’ activities at church.  Women to help with a women’s retreat for Serenity House who ministers to women recovering from substance abuse.

No one can do everything, but EVERYONE CAN DO SOMETHING!

Let’s make a difference,

Brad Raby
Connections Pastor

That phrase encourages us because we all have experienced weeping nights of sorrow and pain – with the hope that joy will come in the morning. But what if morning is a long way off? What about the times when it seems so dark that morning isn’t coming? What do you do when it seems like the light of morning dawn is unable to rise in the face of your daunting darkness?

Let us consider the author of these words – David, who

• was overlooked and considered insignificant as a child
• was rewarded with the death penalty for sparing the Kingdom of Saul
• lost his best friend
• saw family and friend murdered when the sword couldn’t reach him
• experienced the torment of a daughter abused and the sorrow of a son murdered
• suffered the pain of betrayal at the hands of his closest allies – including his own flesh and blood.
• and alas, saw his glorious kingdom that he fought for divided against him

Yes, that’s the man who wrote, “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”   In 2 Samuel 15 David finds himself on the outskirts of Jerusalem after being forced into battle against his own son.  The priest began to follow David with the Ark of God. (The Ark was a powerful symbol to all of Israel.  No army in the generation of David ever lost a battle while the Ark was in their presence.)  Stunningly, David says to the priest in verse 25:  “Take the ark of God back into the city.”  This had to mystify the priests and all of David’s army.  Why would he send the Ark back into the city?  It is at this moment we get a peek into the soul of David as he says to the priest, “If I find favor in the LORD’s eyes, He will bring me back and let me see it and His dwelling place again. But if He says, ‘I am not pleased with you,’ then I am ready; let Him do to me whatever seems good to Him.”

David’s Hope was not influenced by the depth of the darkness that surrounded him.  Rather, his Hope – his Joy was shaped by his unflinching trust and confidence in the sovereign goodness of his God.  David knew God could never be manipulated, but that He could always be trusted.  David’s focus shifted from the surrounding darkness – to the surpassing glory of the one who had originally breathed the light into existence to start with.

Do you find yourself surrounded by darkness and weeping that lasts through the night?  Maybe even wondering if morning light will come?  If so let me encourage you to pray another Psalmist’s prayer – Psalm 33:22 May Your faithful love rest on us, Lord, for we put our hope in You. 

Put your hope in God your heavenly Father, not the coming light.  After all, He made the light to begin with.

- Brad

1.) Contribute items to be sold. All of the money earned from the items sold will be applied to our Adoption Fund.
2.) Come by our yard sale and purchase some items to help the cause.

To contribute items to the yard sale contact Julie – julie@k-towncakes.com

To purchase items feel free to stop by this Saturday, April 7th from 8am-2pm. Our address is 705 Gracewood Way, Knoxville, TN 37934. (West Knoxville, off of Woody Drive)

Either way we would be eternally grateful for you help. Feel free to spread the word!

“Daddy, do you remember (pronounced by her as ‘member’) when we were broken and Jesus fixed us and put us back together?”

I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I smiled and enthusiastically replied to her, “Yes I do.”  I promptly took out a pad of paper and wrote the exchange down so I could recall it later exactly as it transpired.  I knew I would want to revisit her simple, yet profound question.

At not quite three years of age my little girl articulated the essence of the Gospel as well as the most skilled preacher ever could hope to.  She is learning truth that most adults I encounter have yet to grasp.  In my counseling and preaching I spend a significant amount of time deconstructing the false gospel of the American Bible belt. That flawed gospel says that we have to fix ourselves – put ourselves back together, and then maybe Jesus will have us.  As a result ‘church people’ keep trying to live up to a standard they think will pass God’s checklist and thereby earn His favor and love.  The ‘De-churched people’ have come to the conclusion that they will never be able to – so they gave up and just quit doing the church thing.  That’s the man centered Gospel so many have unfortunately been taught and subsequently bought into.  What they could learn from Rylee is that Jesus is the One, the only One, who does the fixing and putting pieces back together.  That’s the message of the Gospel.  That is what the Cross was for.  Jesus is the One who makes dead men live, blind men see, and lame men walk.

Do you remember when you were broken and Jesus put you back together and fixed you? Or are you still trying to fix yourself?

- Brad

When Julie and I heard this news we felt both encouragement and disappointment.  Encouraged because after waiting a year you get VERY anxious and sometimes frustrated by the system and the process.  So it was encouraging to know we had been chosen, but also disappointed that it didn’t happen.

We are confident with God’s plan in our adoption and eagerly await the day.  Thank you so much to those of you who consistently ask for an update and keep praying for us.

- Brad and Julie

1.) Social Networking (Facebook and Twitter etc.) are great tools, but can be consuming.

When I stopped using Facebook cold turkey, I realized how attached I was to it.  In my case I wasn’t and obsessive Facebook user, but I certainly spent too much time on it.  I deleted both Facebook and Twitter from my phone – which in my down time I would by habit always start browsing through newsfeeds and timelines.  There is nothing inherently wrong with it, except that it took time and focus away from my family when I was home that belonged to them.  I didn’t realize how much I was stealing from them.  I haven’t put the apps back on my phone.

2.) We managed to survive three weeks without knowing what and where each other were eating.

Seriously, is there area our lives more vanity filled than our Facebook and Twitter accounts? Whether it is our profile pictures, info sections, or our posting the play by play of the mundane of our lives – it really is a bit silly.  Eating a sandwich at Subway.  Ran 2 miles on the treadmill. Long line at Wal-Mart.  My, that was a refreshing drink of water.  Ever witnessed a “one upping” conversation where people keep trying to top each other’s stories?  Facebook can be one giant “one upping” conversation.  For the record – cute pictures of your kids don’t qualify as vanity

3.) “ ________________ and you are not friends”. 

The new Facebook Timeline profile has a way of unintentionally dealing out some hard news.  I know I’m a grown man and all that stuff, but it still stung deeply recently when I got de-friended by someone I care about.  A tough decision I made hurt them – I get it, but Facebook just says it so bluntly.

4.) Social Networking has changed everything.

Everything!  The way I hear the news.  They way I find out someone died.  The way we market and do business.  The way we communicate.  The way your extended family sees your kids grow up.  The way people try to persuade you to their point of view.  This is just a few of the areas it has totally changed our world.  Today there are over 800 million Facebook users and 200 million Twitter users.  One Billion people using social networking sites changes the way everything works.  It’s just integrated into my life now.  Today I communicated with people by phone, e-mail, Twitter, Facebook, paper letter, text messaging and in person.  Amazing how differently we interact today than just 20 years ago.

5.) Reducing my Facebok and Twitter time has been VERY healthy.

During my social media fast I spent more time talking with my wife, playing with Rylee, reading books – including the Bible.  It was soul cleansing.  It was great for my relationship with Julie.  It helped me a better father.  I spent more time with God.  I wasn’t preoccupied with what was going on at 12:41pm in everyone else’s life, nor did I post what I was doing at 12:41pm.  All of which was healthy for me spiritually and relationally.  So, I’ve significantly reduced my interaction with both Twitter and Facebook.  They are too beneficial to abandon, but they are not essential to my life.  I don’t plan on putting Twitter or Facebook back on my phone anytime soon.  The reduction in notifications has been a good thing.  A really good thing.

- Brad

Recently I asked Rylee what kind of snack she wanted.  She replied, “goldfish” referring to the orange childrens cracker every parent with young children know about.  I went to the pantry, but couldn’t find any goldfish, so I countered Rylee’s request with pretzels.  However she was dead set on having goldfish.  So I tried to explain to her that we were out, and didn’t have any goldfish.  Pretzels are really good alternative after all, right?  Rylee responded by saying “I’ll help you find some goldfish”.  She proceeded to march to the pantry and within 5 seconds pulled out a bag of…..goldfish crackers.

I totally missed them.  I couldn’t believe it.  How could a 2 year-old find in 5 seconds what I was convinced wasn’t there?

Rylee reminded me of a vital lesson all of us need to be aware of: We all need another set of eyes.  How many times have I had a poor attitude and not been able to see it?  How many times have I let pride and selfish ambition take up residence in my heart and not be able to see it? How many times has there been an obvious wise choice, but I somehow missed it?  The answer to all of those questions is: too many times.  You see, we all have times when we are blinded to the obvious.  We all have blind spots – many of which we are not even aware exist.  This is why we need other people who love us and care for us to speak truth into our lives.

Is it possible that there are some things in your life that you’ve been missing?  Not sure? Find a good friend and just ask.

- Brad

For resources and daily devotionals that can assist you in your own personal time of prayer and fasting, click the Prayer and Fasting image below.

- Brad

I can never express how grateful I am to the many people of Discovery who have made this journey.  I am also so very thankful to Scott Cagle and the whole NorthStar Church family for welcoming us with such a warm embrace.

Chris Tomlin’s lyrics come to mind:

“For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done
In this city”

It was a great way to start the new chapter! I can’t wait to see what God has in store!

- Brad